Project #3

This next project has been years in the making. I hated every ounce of painting our last house in Arizona so much that I had to take a break. When we moved here to Texas we had lived there a little over 4 years but I still was not ready to paint again. I took another year off and now I am bored enough that I decided to tackle the task. I am not even going to try and be humble here. I can pick paint colors about as well as any gay guy out there. I don't have the patience for quilting like Rachel or the crafty ideas that my friend Trisha and Heidie and Lynsee have. Or the mad cooking skills of Stephanie. But I can pick a paint color that will make even my cheap Target accessories look nice! It doesn't pay the bills but its something I can hang my hat on. I wanted to buy expensive art or new furniture but since paint is cheap its the most I can do right now.


(I was going to wait and take this pic when the kitchen was clean but that wouldn't be till the kids are back in school so just ignore the mess)

Americas got talent!

My car would not start the other day outside of the Target (where else would I be) and I had to walk home with the kids. My favorite part was when Addie said to me "Mom do you realize how ghetto this is?" Any way the car needed to get fixed and we were without a car for a few days. I was worried we would be bored out of our minds but never fear Addie and Olivia decided to have a talent show in the garage. Its amazing to me that as soon as I clean out the garage we can always find something else to do in there that makes a mess. My mom was visiting and she really had a good time. She told the kids she had a talent and she said she could sing Opera. Then she went up and cleared her throat a million times, shifted, and stretched and then she literally sang the word Opera and sat down. My kids just sat there in dead silence confused. I can tell she had a bunch of her white trash relatives rolling with that joke at some family reunion after they were done swimming in the horse trough. But I guess my kids didn't get it. Then we moved on to the really talented people.
Olivia did a booty shake to the song all the single ladies and received a bouquet of fake flowers (that were reused each time a new act came on).


This is the seating that was provided by Addie and Olivia. Naturally my mom got the most comfortable chair available so I was left with everything that would require my butt to be about the size of what could fit into a mixing bowl.

Addie sang made up songs which oddly enough were better than the guy that sang on the Bachelorette this past Monday. But still its stuff like "I have a friend her name is Auuuw... ddd...rrrrr eeeee yyy... and she is so ppprrr... eeee. tttt..eeee yyyy. Then we all clap and throw these cheap dollar store flowers at her feet.

Dallin didn't have a talent but wanted to participate. I stand in as a tackling dummie so he could show his mad football skills. So he went for the next best thing. To give us the long details behind how he came up with how to make this nifty lego watch and all of the added features it has like it can turn into a weapon and stab the enemy. ZZZZZ.. I fell asleep through that one. But its not my fault. My seat was the wagon in the above pic and it was too comfortable to resist a little cat nap.

Pregnant and didn't know it ??

TLC has this new show about people being pregnant and they had NO CLUE! Then they have actors play out the scene where the next thing they know they are in labor and pop out a healthy perfectly normal 7 lb baby. And are in shock. Ok I know most of my friends hate my cussing but NO FU**ING WAY!!!! I am sorry. This is coming from the "expert" in this field. For starters I got preggers in high school and for sure didn't want it to be happening. I would run cross country and skip periods or just spot some times so I ignored that sign. Then I would throw up and get nauseous, we went to the doctor to check for stomach ulcers the doctor tested me and said I think you might be pregnant and its not Ulcers. So even if I didn't want to acknowledge it a medical professional would. I refused to accept it and went about my life. But then there was movement in my stomach. I was a teenager and didn't gain much weight I was trying to eat less so I wouldn't gain too much weight (you know how vain teenagers are). So I can see how they skip over the weight gain ... but my stomach still got bigger it had to there was a baby in there and placenta and a protective sack full of fluid around the baby. You could actually see me stomach move when the baby would shift and move because I was staying so thin. I remember class mates seeing this and freaking out. So at about the 6 month 7 month mark I could not hide it at all!!! No matter how little I ate or how baggy my clothes were. I tried my best to hide it!!! And later in life as I would have my last three so close together I tried to ignore the signs then too but eventually I could not hide it. I mean a 7 lb healthy baby would show for sure!!! They have their boyfriends on there saying they didn't notice a thing. I could see if there were no prenatal care and it was 2 lbs of 4 lbs. My aunt gave birth to a 2 lb baby premature and she was deffiantly showing. Sorry TLC but this is so crap! You need to come up with a better show. I mean come on. 7 lbs no prenatal care your drinking wine at parties and its totally healthy?? They wrap the sorry up like it has a happy ending. Is it possible these people are being paid to be on this show??

Next Project

We Bought a Trampoline. Sooooooooooo...oooo o o ooo worth it. My kids love it! And it wears them out! I would spend obscene amounts on anything that wears them out. Lucky for me it was not expensive. Thats called having your cake an eating it too. I did not buy the surround thing that protects them from falling off. For one it cuts into how wide you can jump so the tramp gets a very boxed in kind of feeling. Secondly I have seen so many that have fallen apart and been shredded within days of it being set up (so if its torn it wouldn't protect them any way). Now open the flood gates for every looser ass blog reader that has an opinion about this..... Bring it on!

Project

Project Picnic Table. My mom bought me this all wood picnic table from a man selling them on the side of the freeway. Because she is a small town girl she loves to stop and talk to people like this (I have never met any that have clean teeth) for a couple of hours before she makes the purchase. When she goes into Target and the cashier is about her business trying to move quickly to the next customer she usually will complain about how unfriendly their service is. Honestly I didn't really want the table but when I realized what it would take to get rid of something that large I decided I didn't want the hassle and it was better to make it a more permanent fixture of the backyard. I then sanded it down and added a waterproof coat to it. The best part is I put on my swim suite thinking I should at least get a tan while I did the work in the back yard the areas where I got drips on my legs did not tan so it looks really weird. O well... It was something to do.

The first part of our "regular" day.......

I know most people sit an wonder what does Brad Pitt do with his average day off? Likewise you are probably thinking the same thing about me. Well let me tell you...... we do nothing! Especially now that it is summer. Andrew and I have had a couple of chats about planning a big trip or two but it makes my head want to explode so for now we do simple things with in the 12 mile radius of our house. Usually I let the morning drag and when the cartoons are not enough they start wrestling so I let that go on for like and hour (hell its wearing them out which is helpful) and then when some one gets hurt I open the garage and make them all get on a bike and we head to the pool or sprinkler park.

Riding their scooters also helps them get worn out and tired. And thats my MO for parenting. Dallin didn't want to ride his scooter because he still has the staples in his head and doesn't want to fall and make matters worse.

This particular day we choose the sprinkler park.

Dallin refused to get wet even on his feet claiming it could hurt his staples more. So I told him he could start walking home and I would meet him there with the other kids for lunch.

2nd part of the day..............

To my surprise my parents come rolling down the hill with Dallin in the back of their truck just in time cause Olivia was getting tired of riding her scooter and told me "mom I don't have any strength"

Of course they brought donuts and chocolate milk right before the kids have a healthy lunch. Guess how many ham and cheese sandwiches ended up in the trash??

And the best surprise was they had aturtle they found on the road in the back of the truck. The kids went nuts and we drove down the the pond in our neighborhood to let it go.

My dad and the kids letting the turtle go and then watching it sit in the water and do absolutely nothing for over 10 min.

They also picked fresh peaches at a local orchard and brought me some to go home an make peach jam. Not too exciting but I like it slow and low key in the summer.

What I think of unsolicited parenting advice!

Parenting is all a matter of perspective. Every time there is a serial killer that gets the death sentence you see their mother weeping in the court room devastated at the loss of a child. Obviously any one could argue that she did something wrong some where along the lines. A mother might think I raised my children to be great people but her adult child’s co workers and wife might be able to point out a few areas that the mother could have worked on better. I know this much I am a grown adult and there are many many things I do contrary to the way my parents raised me and I can honestly say there are many parts of my life they know nothing about. I see Andrew who I have been married to for 8 plus years as an almost completely different person than his parents knew him to be. Thats why I don’t get a parent that thinks they are doing so good at parenting they are giving out unsolicited advice. What are you basing your success off of? You only see part of your child's life. And the part that you do see you are so biased that your not seeing everything. I try to do my best to remove my bias and just see the situation for what it really is. Or try and see it from another person’s perspective. I am lucky to have a support system who will call me out any time they disagrees with me. One time this comedian came on the David Letterman show and it cracked me up cause when he was asked about his kids he said. They are normal! They do normal kid things and have problems and thats normal. Lol! All these people try and act like their kid is so special in this way or that way but its mostly them trying to cover up their own insecurities through their child. What a burden for these kids to HAVE to be smart cause their mom put them into school early or attractive cause their dad was fat in high school, or lactose intolerant and gluten resistant cause their mom didn’t get an education and coming up with nifty recipes that fit into this category fills a void for her. The more you parent based off of reality the easier their life is. I am not perfect but I would venture to say my kids are normal. And I read and try to educate myself before I make a decision on their behalf. That way I am using information not emotion to guide me. I know there is a part of them I don’t see cause I have blinders on as a mother. And I know some of the beauty I see in them will not be seen by others. That is reality. And weather I like it or not they came who they are and my best bet is to help them be their best selves cause no matter how hard my parents tried I still ended up being myself any way. Maybe that serial killers mom did the best she could. Maybe she did everything right and he still chose his own path. Who knows... At some point we as parents have to realize that its about the children and not us. And the decisions kids make don’t make one parent right and one parent wrong. Thats trying to give a simple answer to a very complicated process. And that means your not using your brain!

Conversations that make me want to lay in a grave.

Addie is really getting the best of me and she is only five. I can't think about her teenage years without a couple of doses of Nyquil and shining a bright flash light into my eyes. I never wanted to be one of those parents that says do it because I told you so but I might be headed down that path soon. The other day she was up stairs and her shirt was twisted. She yells at me to come up stairs and help her out. I explained that I was busy with the younger two down stairs and she should come to me so I could help her. She told me that she did not want to come downstairs and she wanted me to come up stairs. I said "well you don't always get what you want!" "march your little but down here or you won't get my help". Her response?? "If I come down to you mom then you will be getting what you want so how does that make you better than me?" So I ran up the stairs and un twisted her shirt and said "HA!" "Now who is the bigger person?" The look on her face did not make me feel like I had won though.

Olivia... My cute care bear is starting to show the ability to think as well. She was licking the beater after I had mixed up the brownies and was make a horrible mess. I took the beater away and told her she was done. She said she wanted more brownie batter. I said "NO!" You were making a mess! So I took away your privileges. She dipped her finger in the batter and licked it clean and said "try and take that out of my tummy!" If I hadn't done my yoga that day and found inner peace I probably would have pulled out knives and pretended that I was going to preform at home surgery. I hate being one upped.
And do not comment that you know where they get it from. Trust me its not a good idea.

Memorial Day

Dallin hit his head and had to go to Urgent Care to get staples put in. I am not even going to go into detail or spend a whole blog ont hsi one because it has become such an everyday sort of thing in this family. Why should this day be any different?

After a while at Urgent care I came home to some antsy kids so we bought the fishing game and played it before we went back to the pool.